peoplee

so i couldn't sleep last night AT ALL. yesterday was one of those days when i like seriously thought about...life in general right. like i talked to my best friend about stuff and someone else was talking to me and i was thinking about how much i've changed this year and stuff, not nescessarily all bad things but just like looking back and stuff. so i didn't fall asleep till 4:30 and i only got 2 hours of sleep, but i'm still functioning as if i got like 10 hours. its weird.

so yeahh i was just thinking about people in general and the kind of people i surrond myself with. like i don't have a set clique of friends, i kinda travel a lot and i like it but then i don't. cause not everyone in each group is like really good friends with me. its kinda weird. but i mean i love to talk and i talk to everyonee and i just love people. i'm a people person.

so i realized that ever since i had a huge fight with my best friend last summer and totally snapped at her after 10 years of crap i bottled up, i've become so open about things with certain people. there's definitely people i don't really tell certain stuff to because they're just not gonna get it, but i like those people i can share life's little stories with. and i also realized that ever since i snapped last summer i've been like...a bigger bitch. like i've almost forgotten my limits. i'm straight up about stuff like if i don't like you you're gonna know, kinda like that. and i just say whatever i want to because i can't hold things in anymore because it just killss me. so yeahh ik this is really random but i use this blog to vent about life, obviouslyy...

uhmm so then i was talking to this other person last night and it just surprised me that this person like was so...comfortable and open about everything and like we barely talk and they just like told me all this stuff. we were talking about something and then they just said "i don't wanna talk about it" and i mean me being who i am i was like ohh are you sure you can tell me anything you know. like stuff like that. and yeahh.

so then again i realized that you get out of people what you give them. like if you're nice to someone and you trust them, then they'll be nice to you and yeahh. it just bothers me how things are sometimes so unbalanced where you're really nice to someone but they don't really return the favor you know? or how you always let your best friend have the good spot on the couch but they never give it up for you. yeahh idk.

ok so done now idk randomness is my specialty :]
ttylll!